Kanzume

New Vision... Literally

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 13:39:00 +0000

On the day before Valentine's day, I went through something I wanted to do for a long time.

I had lasik surgery done on both eyes.

I was fed up with paying a lot of money for glasses and contacts, but most of all, it meant a new beginning with a new vision for me.

Right before the surgery, I was nervous, but not scared. I was excited.

Now I feel liberated. Strange that I can see without contacts or glasses though. I think it's gonna take me a while before I get used to this...

Trapped

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 10:26:00 +0000

I thought it only happens on TV or in movies. But it happened to me, and I feel special, or should I?

I was trapped in an elevator. For maybe about 10-15 min... With 4 other guys. In a tiny, tiny elevator.

No need for getting into details because that was pretty much it. We added our weight, tried to move around, called the elevator service company.

I wish there were more stories to tell you. But like I said, nothing happened... I wonder if it was good or bad... ;)

2009

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 15:14:00 +0000

I began this year being hopeful after watching a shooting star early morning on the new year.

Only thing I can think right now is all that terrible things that happened this year.

J's passing.

And of course, losing Carey.

I ask myself what went wrong. I wonder what that shooting star meant. I think of what my future is gonna be without Carey and J.

I don't know if I want to remember this year. But I feel I shouldn't forget this year.

Also, with hurting my back, I stopped playing volleyball, losing contacts with many people that I was hanging out with in the process.

But there is one positive thing I came to appreciate again this year. I don't think I would've been able to keep my head up without the support from my friends. I don't know why, but these people gave me so much. So much more than I can return, but their unconditional support was so warm, and helped me get through this incredibly tough time. I don't know what I did to deserve such great friends, but I'm so lucky.

I've had major losses this year. I was saved by my friends. That is my 2009.

3 nights in a row

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 02:44:00 +0000

I went out drinking... 3 nights in a row...

For those who know me, this is unthinkable. It's not like me at all.

On Friday night, I was out till 5am the next day.
On Saturday night, I was out till 3am the next day.
On Sunday, I was out till midnight.

Maybe I'm feeling lonely. Maybe I need some distraction.

But I know I just couldn't think of other ways to spend my night.

Anyway, no need to be concerned. I wasn't too drunk enough to lose my mind, or do something that I would regret.

But why I am drinking so much? I just don't know...

Remembering Carey

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 12:29:00 +0000

My Seattle trip was unexpectedly difficult to say the least, and this is very hard for me to write...

Carey passed away on November 9, 2009.

I got this news from my best friend, Kuni, on the day I was supposed to fly to Seattle.

My mind went numb. Shocked. My worst fear actually happened. I say that because he sent me some items previous week.

The thought of going to Seattle knowing not being able to spend time with Carey was unimaginable.

Entering the house after being away for 2 years was so strange. Especially because it's an empty house. No dogs. No birds. Of course, No Carey. He cleared a lot of stuff, but the house, for the most part was the same as when I left.

I first met Carey back in 1996, but we got together the day before Thanksgiving in 1998. Since then, my relationship with Carey helped me become who I am now.

We loved dogs, so we shared our love for dogs with J and Cheyenne.
We went to dog shows.
We went hiking and backpacking.
We had parties at our house.
We cooked together.
We watched TV together.

We also shared some difficult times together.

I had so many memories with Carey, it was almost impossible to hold back my tears.
I tortured myself with questions. What was going through his mind in his last hours. Maybe outcome would've been different if I didn't come to Seattle. I felt helpless, and couldn't stop blaming myself.

Carey left me a letter. In it, he said:
"I had some of the best times of my life with you over the years. The things we did together were the best. I wish I could have done more things for you. But I hope that you know while you're reading this that I'm in a different place, a better place and little Poo is by my side as well as our other pets, friends and family members that went before us. Please know that I'm never very far away and I'll always be near your side."

I remember Carey as one of the most generous, caring, selfless people I've ever met.

I told him once that we are looking at the same moon, that we are not that far away. As I walk home at night from work, I look up and see the moon and stars, and I wonder if he's looking at it as well... And I picture him playing with J, and for some strange reason, I'm a little comforted.

Another surprise

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 14:41:00 +0000

I finished reading another novel. I think I read more books this year than ever in my life! I don't wanna get into details 'cause it's embarrassing, a bit...

It's a good distraction.

I'm more introverted now, and I don't share my thoughts with others but only to few selected friends whom I can completely trust. Some people don't control their emotions, and dump it all over me with no regard for me or my thoughts. I only absorb it like a sponge even if I know their reasoning is unfair, unreasonable and completely irrational.

Oh no, I didn't mean to sound all depressed... I already started another book. I typically read on the way to or from work on trains, but sometimes I read at a park on the weekend. I know it is so NOT me.

Tearjerker

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 16:20:00 +0000

I went to see a movie called "Hachiko: A Dog's Story." It opened in Japan before US, and for those who don't know, this was based on a real story of a dog who waited for the owner after he died.

Anyway, as a dog lover, it was a must see movie.

Boy, did I cry...

I don't want to give it all away, but there is a part that made me cry so hard... I think I cried more than anybody in the theater, I think.

If you are a dog lover, I highly recommend it.

Whopper!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 11:42:00 +0000

Lately I have urges for big fat burgers. Japan's burgers may as well be kids' meal cause it's tiny, and it doesn't satisfy my big appetite.

Imagine a kid excited to open a Christmas present only to be majorly disappointed to get a teddy bear. That's me. Except, it is me, opening a wrapper only to find a finger sized burger.

Until now!

I went to Burger King for a Whopper, and boy it didn't disappoint. It was as big as I remembered, and onion rings, too!!! M was decent size, not one of those medium size stuff that ends with a couple of bites. Plus, it's nice that it is in Shinjuku. I know where I'm going tomorrow for lunch!!!

Just a hype???

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 04:39:00 +0000

A while ago, I went to see "Slumdog Millionaire" by myself. There seemed to be so much interest on Terminator or other major Hollywood movies that no one was interested in watching the movie, but that was fine by me.

After reading a book, I was a bit excited to be able to brag, and say, "the movie was different from the book..." You know people that read books that movies are based on, always say things like that. In my mind, that sounded very intelligent, but I was never able to say that because I don't like reading books.

But, I must say that I didn't know what all the hype was about... Characters were very different, and I was very confused at first. Stories in the book were more intense. I heard that the movie was different from the book, but I didn't expect it to be different this much!

The book was good though. I recommend it.

I surprised myself

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 09:59:00 +0000

The unthinkable happened. I finished reading a novel.

And I'm so proud of myself.

I really wanted to be a part of the Oscar excitement, so I decided to read Slumdog Millionaire.
I got so involved with the story. I'm a slow reader, so it took some time to finish, but it felt so good!

Remembering J

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 14:09:00 +0000

My dog, J, got hit by a car and killed.

Without any doubt, he was the best dog I've ever had. I never imagined his life would end the way it did, but I chose not to keep thinking about how he died, whether he suffered, etc.

I chose to remember J, the way he was with me... Always wagging his tail, sleeping by my side.

Yesterday, I saw a dog that looked just like J. I couldn't keep my eyes off the dog.

But he was one of a kind. Nothing, or no other dog can replace J. I spent a little over 7 years before I came back to Japan, and he lived nearly 9 years.

That 7 years was time filled with good and difficult times, but J always helped me get through hard times...

I miss him a lot, but I was so fortunate to have spent time with J. That's how I choose to remember J.

What do you think I am?

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 04:40:00 +0000

A robot?

Human League couldn't have said better.

"I'm only human, born to make mistakes."

Well, I didn't make mistakes. I was late. 10 min.

Some people think 10 minutes late is 10 min. late. Some may say it's only 10 min.

Anyway, I got chewed.

No one's dead. It's really no big deal. Life's too short to worry about things like that.

End of an era

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 23:35:00 +0000

When things break, I have a tendency to look back and get on a memory train.

I get so attached to them, and it's hard to let go.

This was my first electronic shaver, and I also believe this was my first purchase on eBay.

I used this thing for over 9 years. I was living in Madison Park then...

I brought this thing to all my trips, Palm Springs, SF, DC, LA, Colorado and Japan...

Oh, well. Good times...

April Fool

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 13:45:00 +0000

No, no one fooled me, and I fooled no one.

It's spring, but I can't help but feeling a little down.

My grandma was taken to the hospital last week. My dad recently got out of the hospital. Although I am comforted by the fact that my brother lives close enough to visit my parents often, and he gives me an update, I sometimes feel very helpless.

But you know what?

Laughter is the best medicine, and I am finding my sources, and it feels so good to laugh.

Everything changes

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 04:19:00 +0000

I saw the news that P-I is no longer printing. It's like the end of an era.

It's sad, but everything is changing, and Seattle is turning into something that I'm not familiar with, and that's very scary.

But it's the fact that I have to accept, I guess. My hometown keeps changing, Seattle is changing in many ways...

I'm changing. No, it's not about the age or wrinkles on my face! LOL.

My life and thinking has changed so much since I started living in Tokyo.

I told you so.

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 07:42:00 +0000

When Koot's Green Tea opened the first US shop in Bellevue back in 2006, I told few of my friends that they'd be lucky if they last a year.

I just found out that they closed it 2 years after they opened.

The store opened with rather unnecessary local media buzz. It was supposed to be a new way to appeal green tea to the mass.

I found a lot of problems with the concept, and I knew it wouldn't last...

Many people in Seattle, except for some that are affected by trends, don't like anything mainstream. That's why there are so many local coffee shops going strong in a presence of Starbucks and Tully's. Same with the tea.

I knew it was only a matter of time.

So, there it is... One lesson in business, I guess.

Why didn't I think of this sooner?!

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 04:00:00 +0000

When I was in Seattle, I listened to FM radio on my way to work in the morning. "Jackie and Bender" became my program of choice after wondering around looking for something after "Pat Cashman show" got cancelled...

It's got everything... From news, gossip and endless talk about not so important things...? But hey, it was all entertaining, and I liked it.

To be honest, TV and radio programs in Japan are boring. I turn it on for background noise, but I rarely pay attention to its contents cause it's pretty much talking about nothing.

So, yesterday, I was playing around with my iTunes, and suddenly realized that I can subscribe podcasts. I was so happy when I found "Jackie and Bender" and I can keep up with all the good stuff in Seattle, and yes, even gossip! Not that stupid stuff that Japan's media talk about like how Beyonce liks Mos Burger in Japan, or how hot Brad Pitt is. No, I want juicier stuff!

Media in Japan is so brainless, just kissing any celebrity's ass, and it's really not fun to see. That's not entertainment.

And I subscribed to bunch of News programs and shows. I feel a little bit closer to the US again, and that makes me happy!

I know I'm Japanese when...

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 13:30:00 +0000

I take pictures of food I'm about to eat...
There are so many things that I question about how the society operates, sometimes I do what majority (?) of Japanese people do.
I hate conforming to the society on a lot of things, but when I do things without asking questions, and do as people do, it makes me think:

I am Japanese... Whether I like it or not. LOL.

For relaxing time

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 12:03:00 +0000

I hang out with friends that know me and like me for who I am.

Mari has two dogs, and they are so adorable, and it really helps me relax when I play with dogs...

Mari and I have open conversation about anything. I mean, ANY thing. And it's nice not having to cover up what I think, and I can say things the way I wanna say.

Drooling...

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 03:23:00 +0000

This has been such an exciting week...

No not in Japan...

Or for me...

But in the US.

For some reason, Japan's media is all over Obama's inaguration as if it is happening for Japan, and I find it very funny.

Anyway, I stayed up really late, and watched iganuration because this IS the historical moment, and I just wanted to be a part of it even if I was more than 8000 miles away from all the excitement.

I am glad that Bush is finally out of the office... I was hoping for this day in 2000 and 2004, but it took 8 long years.

I wanted to be in the US to experience all this excitement. It is truly in a lot of ways a new beginning. It is pararell with my life, I guess. There are a lot of challenges ahead, but I could only stay positive and hope for the best.

Someday, I want to go back to the US.
Someday, I want to resume my life in the US, or maybe other English speaking countries.

But today, I just want my back to heal...

Reflecting...

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 02:41:00 +0000

Boy, a lot of things happened in 2008. I mean a lot!!!

I thought at one point, "could this year be any worse?" And bad things kept on happening one after another.

But I'm here. I survived 2008, and I spent another new year in my hometown. It was a lot different from a year ago. My grandma is no longer able to walk. My dad's condition is shaky at best after staying in a hospital for a month and a half.

Sure, bad things happened, but these things really make me appreciate what I have. I could always count on my friends for emotional support whether they are here or not.

One thing I have to say though, is that I look forward to this year. On new year, I stepped outside, and I looked up and saw so many stars. Then I saw...

A shooting star!

I don't know if it means anything, but suddenly I became hopeful.

2009 is gonna be a good year. I know it will.

It's just another day

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 01:40:00 +0000

I'll be happy when this lovers' fest is over.

I thought it was a Jesus day. LOL

They have taken commercial Christmas to a new level here. Impressive...
Krispy Kreme was my Christmas treat...

Holiday gift

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 03:00:00 +0000

I have a little tradition that I buy myself a Christmas gift. Some expensive, some cheap...

I don't expect people to give me gifts, so I try to make it special on my own. I know it's a little sad, but it works for me ;-)

This year, I bought 3 CDs.

David Archuleta - David Archuleta
Take That - The Circus
John Mayer - Where the Light Is, Live in Los Angeles

This year's Christmas will be like the last year. I will be at work, having a little time to enjoy the Christmas... Because it's even more commercial than the US, I don't even wanna walk around any Christmas illuminations.

Only thing I wish, is that I get to watch Charlie Brown Christmas.

Taste of winter

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 05:40:00 +0000

I think I'm turning Japanese

Just in time

noreply@blogger.com (Kaz I.) — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 22:51:00 +0000

I was able to submit my entry for greencard lottery this year just before it closed. I know the chance is very slim, but having a small possibility is better than none.

Well, I just have to cross my fingers!